For the Fall Lecture Series at Oblate School of Theology (OST), Fr. Ron Rolheiser, OMI is speaking about willpower and grace. His first lecture last Wednesday spoke of the spirituality of willpower and grace. Among many other original insights, he highlighted that grace is learning to “live as beloved” and letting go of our bitterness. It can be modeled on Jesus himself. In the garden at Gethsemane, Jesus was not faced with whether he was to die or not, but how he was going to die. How can Jesus go to his death solidly anchored inside of love?
The struggle for grace lies in Jesus’ agonia as a misunderstood lover, a moral athlete whose all-encompassing love is betrayed and rejected. Jesus gives his life as a lover who must struggle as he resists hatred, violence and resentment. He is a lover who experiences pain and humiliation by resisting bitterness in order to go deeper into God’s compassion. As the son of God, we would think Jesus was able to do this out of sheer spiritual willpower. He did not. Jesus relied on the grace that came from God: “and an angel came and strengthened him” (Luke 22:43). We all know moments when we had to let go in front of a situation, a relationship or a deep disappointment or failure that pushed us to the limit of our endurance.
During my years of formation as religious missionary priests with the Oblates, we were encouraged to attend public recovery meetings. We had been told they were places were powerful stories of grace abound. Dubious at first, I began to understand what our formators wanted us to experience. During these meetings people would speak of their struggle to combat addictions to alcohol, drugs and the devastation in their personal, professional, economic, social and family life. One common theme kept coming back: they had tried almost everything with little or no result. Worse still, many had tried to stop their addictive behavior out of their own willpower and when they failed, they would come back in a worse condition than the last time. Most of them agreed, grace is to be the only way out of the hell of addiction. The first three steps in the recovery movement are about giving one’s life over to God, a Higher Power, so he can do for addicts what they cannot do for themselves. In his classic work Addiction and Grace, Gerald G. May states “Grace is our only hope for dealing with addiction, the only power that can truly vanquish its destructiveness. Grace is the invisible advocate of freedom and the absolute expression of perfect love.”
After attending many recovery meetings, it was sticking to see that people who had lost everything could now face incredible odds with humility and grace. More than once had I heard that they resorted to prayer to let go of resentment and bitterness even after years of sobriety. One woman in an Al-Anon meeting (12 steps group for people affected by the alcoholism of a loved one) said she was able to let go of controlling her husband’s drinking and found peace and joy even if his addiction seriously thwarted his love for her as he kept drinking. I could not help to make the connection with how Jesus, through the grace of God, could remain loving in the midst of being rejected and abandoned. It is no wonder that, as Fr. Ron Rolheiser quoted, Richard Rohr said of the recovery movement “I truly believe that the Twelve Step program (also known as Alcoholics Anonymous or A.A.) will go down in history as America’s greatest and unique contribution to the history of spirituality. It represents what is good about American pragmatism…”
Of course, like all programs and methods, twelve steps programs are far from being perfect. Yet, they help us understand how people who to this day are socially shunned and judged severely for their lack of willpower, gain their dignity back through a sober life by surrendering to the grace of God. In the last decade, social sciences and neurological research have continued to unveil the inner workings of addiction. The lack of willpower has become the least acceptable explanation for the devastating impact of addictive behaviors. Most of them are a combination of complex brain functioning and cultural or social predisposition. So, in recovery people apply, at times unknowingly, a fundamental spiritual truth: we cannot create or control our souls for love other than through an act of surrender to the grace of God. We participate in the grace to be more loving by being open to it but we do not manufacture it in any way. Grace is pure gift.
Jesus was able to resist bitterness, resentment and hatred through the grace of God. We all face trials. There are times where we all hit a wall, hit rock bottom; moments where we can no longer resort to our willpower to change a situation or even ourselves. During those times, we are called to the same surrender, the same call for help made by Jesus at Gethsemane as we continue to deepen our identity as beloved children of God. When we do, we will realize the awesome transformative power of grace.
Fr. Daniel Renaud, OMI is a priest, religious and itinerant preacher with the Missionary Oblates of Mary Immaculate of the US province. Mentored by Fr. Ronald Rolheiser, OMI he ministers from the campus of the Oblate School of Theology (OST) in San Antonio, Texas. Fr. Renaud has degrees and training in drama education, theology, pastoral ministry, psychodrama and spiritual direction. He has preached retreats to priests, men and women religious, deacons and wives and lay people on desire and mysticism, 12 steps recovery, Ignatian spirituality and Jungian shadow work, ecological conversion, the Beatitudes and human development and grief and life transitions. Fr. Renaud is a member of Spiritual Director International (SDI). His areas of interest are resilience, finding one’s mission and purpose in life, spiritual healing of traumatic relationships and everyday mysticism.